A Confession.

A Confession.

I am not a violent man, but I am a destroyer.
This is not an exultation, it is simply the truth.
This realization first manifested itself unconsciously.
I was a clumsy child, lacking precision and dexterity,
so I would destroy without intention.
Eventually, this truth manifested itself sub-consciously.
As an angry young man, destruction made sense,
but I could not properly explain why.
Destruction only came as a reaction to anger.
Only if someone was angry. Only if I was angry.
It was always the destruction of a thing, something,
some stupid, pointless, destroyable thing.
I could not explain it then, but I knew I was right,
even if everything and everyone told me I was wrong.
The sub-conscious will to destroy led my actions,
even if I swore to myself that this was not true.
Why? To be able to answer that question
is to be fully conscious.
I was wrecked because I could not explain why.
I was scared because I had no excuse.
I needed an alibi, otherwise I was guilty.
The difference between art and reality is guilt.
Art is guiltless, no matter how awful.
At least that is what I must believe.
I am sorry, but I must believe this to feel innocent.
I must believe this or be spit out.
I am not a violent man, but I am a destroyer,
and I am finally conscious of the destruction within me.
I may have lied to you about me.
This turns out to be both the truth and an exultation.
I can finally feel joyful about my destruction. Peace.

Aaron C. Molden

Reset, Writing, and Mythology

Reset

We suffer from the dread
of the total obliteration of mankind.
We are in some form of arms race.
We are living in the 1950's again.
How we stopped worrying
and loved the bomb.
What is the new bomb?
Maybe we are living in 1962.
The next 8 years maybe really sexy.
History is simply a game of catch
between sex and violence.
When that toss reaches it's peak
scholars refer to it as a Renaissance.
We may be set for a reset.



Writing

Writing is not radio
which is not television
which is not cinema
which is not video games.
Writing is not always articles
and not always stories
and not always novels
and not even always video games.
Writing maybe nothing as of present.
Writing maybe laziness now.
Writing may not be work.
Writing maybe a depressing way to avoid work.
Writing maybe both lazy and imbalanced.
I am writing and reading
and rewriting and rereading
when I could simply be
playing video games.
Times are changing,
but they also remain the same.



Mythology

In movies, even the awkward genius gets laid,
right before he dies of a tragic death beyond his control.
The real moral of every mythology that has ever existed
is that if you are an awkward genius, take control.
Take control in order to avoid a tragic death.
Absolve yourself of a tragic death in order to live.
Lay that fate upon the hopeless hero
because he will believe that death is glory. Sucker.
Hallowed be thy name.
Amen.


Aaron C. Molden, 2012

The Big Guy

Introduction.
   
    If you read this, I suggest you do so in the voice of the most familiar regional dialect you can recall. That is what I did while I was writing it. Thanks.

The Big Guy.

Okay, let me lay it to you straight,
because, you know, I like you.
Truth is, I always liked you.
You're smart, I always knew that.
Smart, but not necessarily blessed,
you know, with level head.
You're creative, we get it.
On the cutting edge, the fringe, great.
But there's a way things work around here.
Honestly, it's been working for centuries.
Now, we may not have been involved
when some Einstein first figured it out,
but hey, you know what they say,
"If it ain't broke..." You understand.
Look, we get it, rebellion this, revolt that,
New World Order! We understand.
We know you have to get it out of your system.
We won't stand in your way...
Okay, maybe we will a little, come on.
You know, if you got to put up a fight,
it might as well be a fight worth fighting, am I right?
We know you're going to win, alright.
We know it's biology, psychology, physiology, whatever.
But we're still going to put up a fight,
because, you know, we got to make you tough.
Centuries, you know? If it it ain't broke, you know?
Look, we don't care about the decorations,
if you catch what I'm saying,
because we know you'll come around.
I mean, you ain't no fucking animal.
Come on, we know that.

Aaron C. Molden 

Moby Dick

Introduction.
    In leisure, I find writing is more enjoyable when I can ignore all grammatical rules. My next post will be the Arthurian Myth as written by William Carlos Williams...just kidding!

Moby Dick 

Great art makes you wonder
how you might deal with the worst situation
you could possibly imagine.

You may hate it when you consider it.
You may love it when you consider it.
You may not want to consider it.

None of it makes it right.
All of it makes it great.
Call me Ishmael.

Aaron C. Molden
   

Day Trip to the Internet

Introduction.
    So here is some more "poetry." honestly this is only free association while soaking up Netflix, Hulu, and, you know, Internet television. I think that I like it. Thanks!

Day Trip to the Internet

The quest for data is the new cola wars.
That's a little serious for the start of a vacation.
If you want to be cool stay in school, but do not act as if it is cool.

Don't worry, someone will always care about genealogy.
Our history is now mapped by commercials.

Do you feel like a piece of shit for not living your life to its fullest?
Well, check out these assholes living their hideous life
to its hideous fullness.

Salman Rushdie and Louis C.K. may be the same person
with different memories and birth dates.

I have never read a Salman Rushdie book.

Knowledge is beautiful, but please do not look at is as power.

Why am I talking in quotes?
I am not talking at all.
I am writing.
I have suddenly stopped listening to Salman Rushdie.

I came back to television
when they started talking about girls.

When viewing a world outside my own reality
I realize that the Simpsons were right.

We maybe misguided to what is actually good
and actually evil.

Have we puked up the little bit of apple
that has made us so sick
with the knowledge of good and evil?

The Simpsons already said that.

Is Fox News real?

I am vacationing in Internetland.

If you work hard, advertise it, so you can continue
to work hard.

Jersey Shore:
Uh? Yeah! It was a total blast!

Believe it or not, this is great.
You should try it because you might be less angry.

National Television has allowed the the word shit (several times)
but muted the word dick.
It was preceded by the word whiskey,
as in whiskey dick.
If they had not included the word whiskey,
would dick have not been muted?

Pink: I'm just taking everything Madonna did,
weighing the pros and cons of the situation,
and acting accordingly.

I just took a thirty minute break.
Even vacations require a break, Am I Right?

I don't think I will ever be a formalist.
Frankly I get bored.

We have reached adulthood,
so why can we not speak as adults?

Chase Bank's advertising isn't cool
on purpose. Because being cool
only really gives one street credentials.
Chase Bank isn't looking for
street credentials.

I am frighteningly well equipped
for domestic life.

What is better? Freedom from poverty
or freedom from anxiety?

If you are completely free of everything
you are probably stupid or an asshole.

I know I am not stupid,
but am I an asshole.

I think I can detect bullshit
because I have just watched five hours of television.
Or maybe I don't usually watch television
because I can detect bullshit.
Either way, based on my own flawed logic,
it's surprising to myself,
that this is not all bullshit.

I must admit, it is still
somehow a must richer laugh
when a recognizable pop culture
reference is incorporated.

So Chuck Norris isn't even ironically cool anymore.
He has become doubly ironic.
Will everything eventually be doubly ironic?
This is making my mind run like a Rube Goldberg invention.

Commercials eventually become
the rock we must roll up a hill
so that we can watch it roll back down again.

Was that metaphor originally intended for civilization?
I fought the urge to spell it civilisation.

Don't feel guilty about your addiction,
it's well documented throughout history.

Even the smartest people tend to be
too smart about something they are truly ashamed of.

What the hell is that suppose to mean?

Okay! First thing that comes to your head:
What is the greatest movie of all time?
I am trying to think of something other
than the Godfather before I finish writing this sentence.
Why? Because I am watching a clip from the Godfather.
I am a base contrarian.
Right, I think I am an asshole.

Here's a conundrum:
If a group of people justify the existence
of something awful solely because it is popular,
why does being critical of it
make you a faggot?
Your move, faggot.

This is why video games make sense.
Idle hands are the devil's play things
- Public Domain
Is that the right quote?
Oh sorry, you were probably too busy
masturbating to answer questions.

Video games are the second
or possibly the fifth step, in making our fantasy
a reality.

If I were playing video games right now
none of this would be a problem.

Are you feeling a little too human right now?
No problem, we've got something for that.

I finally have a different answer.
Apocalypse Now.
Those are both Coppola films.

If you can make a war film
that isn't considered important
than you do not have a real grasp
on what war really is.

We don't always see eye to eye,
but I think my dad would agree
with that last collection of words.

Were you wondering if I am in any way a xenophobe?
Well, shamefully I am.
I have a hard time reading subtitles.
Subtitles are my mind's idle hands.
What happens when your idle hands
are still only in your mind?

I'm getting better, though.
Flashback ten years ago and I
could not even watch a black and white film.
Believe me, I am always trying to eat my vegetables.

I stole that last line
from the New York Times.
I don't even read the New York Times.
Honestly, I kind of hate New York
even though I've never been there.
So, I guess I'm jealous.
But that doesn't mean you are not an asshole.

New York, that is, is an asshole.
I think that makes me an asshole too.
That realization doesn't prove that New York
isn't in fact a putrid behemoth of an asshole
upon this earth.
It only proves that I am a much smaller,
but still putrid asshole upon this Earth.

What a circle Jerk!

I am talking to the world.
I am making love to the world.
A writer and Hoosier that I almost childishly respect,
said that this is breaking a rule.
He also said that it was okay to break the rules
and find glowing success as a human being.

This might be true of every rule,
but I am definitely not the authority
on this idea.

Sometimes I feel like I am developing,
with every thing that I am making,
a semi-permanent, but elaborate
and illogical puzzle for some egghead to solve.

Hopefully that will keep me obscure forever.
Maybe I secretly hate my brain. Obviously I do.

I still think I am an asshole.

Taxi Driver would be in the top ten,
but the Godfather still seems right.
I am also influenced by my vacation.

I want to end this with some beautiful,
but confounding word.
This is the first thing that came to mind:

Scorsese.

Aaron C. Molden