I woke up and found
her sleeping on the
mattress set out
in the front room.
All the floors in the house
are wood paneling,
except for the kitchen.
Contemplate the
logistics of this
reasoning.
She has a boyfriend
who is thousands
of miles away.
If she hadn't I
would have asked
her to sleep with
me in my bed,
only four hours
prior, when everyone
was trailing off towards
their bedrooms and
beds as quickly
as the could get there,
only an hour before
the sun would rise,
though none of us
would ever see it.
Gray skies
gray skies for days
gray skies for weeks.
Of course we were drinking
of course we were with
friends.
Of course.
I must have said good
night to her
because I know
I would never
allowed myself
not to.
In the morning
I found her still
sleeping on the
mattress.
I crouched down
by her head and
touched her shoulder.
"I have to go to work."
She grasped my hand.
"You should stay here."
She smiled.
She pulled my
hand to her cheek.
"Jesus, I'm going to
miss you."
"Visit me" she said.
"I will."
I kissed her forehead.
"Be safe."
I drove to work.
She got on a plane.
This is the truest
thing I have written
in a while.
This moment
cuts me the deepest.
No cum.
No cunt.
No matter.
The cum and the cunt can
come when they want.
After this,
my thoughts are on
tomorrow.
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