Saturday, August 4, 2012

Things To Do When You Are Broke, Part 1

    Are you a cool kid? Good! Are you really into music or art or fashion or books or sex or drugs? Great! Now, do you not have to worry about money? If yes, well bully for you, but I'm sorry to write that the next couple posts are not really for you (I would still love for you to read them anyways, though.) If you do have to worry about money (even though you hate to worry about it because money, man, its not even really real, right?) than these next couple posts are written specifically for you. I hope that you find them both entertaining and informative. Enjoy!

Another Introduction.

    Essentially what I hope to accomplish here is to give you broke bums something to do that won't put you further into debt that you can't afford to pay back while giving you an interesting and entertaining experience. The only thing that I will ask of you, dear broke reader, is to keep an open mind to these personal suggestions (and, I guess, to also actively participate in the literal act of reading as well.) I appreciate it.

The Library.
    Do you think that the library is for nerds or bookworms? If so, than you are living within an anachronistic mindset, my friend. The library use to be a place for nerds before the internet allowed nerds to become unimaginably more awkward and introverted than ever before. These days the library is mostly for weirdos, and when I say weirdos, I mean WEIRDOS! I'm not talking about your friend that always wears pink socks or refers to themselves in the third person. I'm talking about people so smart and aware of the physical and metaphysical that they can no longer subscribe to the confines of their presently structured society. These fine folks are basically your local Werner Herzogs or Bobby Fischers, except that they never recieved the privileged philosophical or financial support those lucky souls found in life. What's great about these local weirdos is that they are not only interesting, but they actually no longer have the ability to be anything but interesting (read: puzzling.) They have shucked off any pretenses of being a quiet and civilized human being and therefore can only be who they really are without any sort of socially imposed  filter. How is exciting is that? Answer: pretty damn exciting!
   There is an additional bonus when it comes to the library, too. Even if these weirdos are not at the library when you happen to arrive. Even if there is no one up for an aggressive game of Chess or Goe. Even if nobody wants to take part in a spirited debate about the state of the world (believe me, they have opinions about the state of the world and you're lucky to hear them.) Even if you find yourself all alone, you are still completely surrounded by the free and unmitigated information and personal observations that are known to the world as books. Books, Man! How incredible is that?
    Okay, I don't want to come off overly pretentious in this next paragraph, but this is going to be a slightly opinionated call to, you know, maybe grow up a little bit. Listen, we're not high school anymore, maybe we should start trying to act a little bit like adults. If you still think that education or knowledge is "uncool," if you think that being smart is for losers or nerds, than I'm going to take a stab that you fit into a very specific personality type. I don't want to generalize, but my guess is that you are either: a. An alpha male b. Prefer alpha males as sexual partners or c. worship famous alpha males because you wish you were one (and also secretly wish they were you're homosexual partners.) This is perfectly acceptable because any open minded person knows that all generalized personality types exist and very likely cannot be changed deep down. Nevertheless, I assure you that there is a section of society that is less open-minded than myself that happens to have a gnawing hatred of your personality type and the people who possess them. Again, it is not really their fault that they hate you so much, it's just their own personality type (just in case you were wondering, these people are usually pretty smart, but also usually pretty anxious and depressed. Such is life.) Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that being smart or knowledgeable doesn't make someone a nerd. Acting like a goofball nerd makes someone a nerd (once again, also perfectly acceptable, personality type and whatnot.) So if you're going through life thinking that reading and books are stupid like some pouting 8 year old...well, that means when I asked you at the beginning if you were cool, you were actually lying when you said yes.
     So now that you know all this, get up from behind that computer screen, walk outside, take a deep breath of fresh(ish) air, and walk on down to your local library and have yourself perfectly free and good time.

Author's Note: Choosing to do any sort of drug prior to heading to the library is entirely optional.

Aaron C. Molden

Next up- Part 2- Galleries and Museums

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