If you read this, I suggest you do so in the voice of the most familiar regional dialect you can recall. That is what I did while I was writing it. Thanks.
The Big Guy.
Okay, let me lay it to you straight,
because, you know, I like you.
Truth is, I always liked you.
You're smart, I always knew that.
Smart, but not necessarily blessed,
you know, with level head.
You're creative, we get it.
On the cutting edge, the fringe, great.
But there's a way things work around here.
Honestly, it's been working for centuries.
Now, we may not have been involved
when some Einstein first figured it out,
but hey, you know what they say,
"If it ain't broke..." You understand.
Look, we get it, rebellion this, revolt that,
New World Order! We understand.
We know you have to get it out of your system.
We won't stand in your way...
Okay, maybe we will a little, come on.
You know, if you got to put up a fight,
it might as well be a fight worth fighting, am I right?
We know you're going to win, alright.
We know it's biology, psychology, physiology, whatever.
But we're still going to put up a fight,
because, you know, we got to make you tough.
Centuries, you know? If it it ain't broke, you know?
Look, we don't care about the decorations,
if you catch what I'm saying,
because we know you'll come around.
I mean, you ain't no fucking animal.
Come on, we know that.
Aaron C. Molden