Sunday, February 10, 2013

Samuel's Confession

    So where do you want to start?

    Maxwell thought up the whole idea when he was sent to alternative school. He was sent to alternative school because I filmed him having anal sex with Sarah in the school library. He forwarded the video to the email address of the superintendent of our school corporation. I didn't get in trouble because I filmed it on Maxwell's phone. Maxwell said that he didn't want me to film it on my phone because he knew I was a creepy faggot who would watch the video over and over to get off to his fat cock. He started to laugh when he said that and I laughed too even though I didn't think it was funny. Once Maxwell laughed at something and I did not so he slapped me across the face and asked me if I could not take a joke. Now, every time Maxwell laughs, I do too because he is smarter than me so I must not get the jokes he tells.
    Anyways, while in alternative school Maxwell texted Sarah and me a lot. He texted that he had a lot of time to think because most of the time he was isolated in an individual study room where he was suppose to be working on his homework. He texted that for my fifteenth birthday present he was going to make all three of us famous.
    Maxwell was only in alternative school for six months, but after that six months was up he would be required to attend bi-weekly psychological evaluations. Sarah's parents decided to home school her instead of sending her to alternative school. Sarah texted Maxwell and me that it wouldn't be a problem because her parents believed that she was only exploring a healthy sexual curiosity and she was simply too young and naive to understand the consequences of her actions. She texted that even though she was being home schooled, her parents still wanted her to have a social life. So she would still be allowed to go out and spend time with her friends. Maxwell texted that everything was going to work out perfectly and all we had to do was be patient.
    Maxwell texted that after a lot of thought he decided that Dakota Figg would be our best choice. Dakota was very small and very poor. He was almost always dirty and as far as I knew he didn't have any friends. He didn't even have a cell phone. Sarah texted back that Dakota would be perfect. After I thought about it for a second I decided that Maxwell was right. It really did make sense when you think about it. Maxwell then texted that if you want to make an omelet you had to crack a few eggs. I didn't know what he meant by that so I figured he was making one of his smart jokes again. I texted back LOL.
    On the Friday night of Maxwell's last day of alternative school we met each other at the McDonald's down the street from where I live.

    Is that the McDonald's on Sagamore Parkway?

    Yeah, that one is right down the street from my house. I sat quietly across the table from Maxwell and Sarah while they kissed and touched each other. Maxwell said that I should get under the table because his fingers were deep inside of Sarah. Sarah smiled at me and moaned. It made me uncomfortable so I put my head down and laughed a little even though I didn't feel like laughing. I don't like talking to people face to face, it makes me feel weird.

    Is that why you keep looking down at the ground?

    Yes. Anyways, this is when I got out my phone. I started to zone out and watch some videos that make me happy or make me smile. So while Maxwell and Sarah touched each other I was looking down and giggling, watching Youtube fail blogs and funny pictures of animals. Occasionally I watched videos of guys jerking off into young girl's eyes. Those are so funny sometimes.
    Eventually, Sarah grabbed my chin and pulled my head up to make eye contact and asked me where I had been. Maxwell told me that I had my head down giggling for twenty minutes. I didn't know where the time went because I kept replaying my favorite pictures and videos from the internet. Maxwell asked me what kind of psycho retard I was. He laughed, so I laughed. After that, Maxwell told me that while I was stuttering and drooling like an invalid, whatever that means, he and Sarah had decided that they would corner Dakota Figg after school on monday. I didn't really know all the details because I wasn't paying attention, so I asked what I had to do.
    Maxwell asked if I had a Youtube account and I said yes. Maxwell then said he would take care of Facebook, Twitter, 4chan, and Reddit. I asked him who we were going to email it to and he said that I was obviously too much of a dumbfuck to really understand what we were going to do. Maxwell said that we were going to go viral. Then he yelled happy birthday you big retard and laughed. I laughed too and this time I really felt like laughing because Maxwell really seemed to be doing this for me. It felt really good. Finally, Maxwell stopped laughing and said that all I had to do was point and shoot. So that is what I did.

    And what did you shoot?

    Well, you saw the video, right?

Aaron C. Molden

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